Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Let's get the cat blown out
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
he just fucked me for my cheese.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
