NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
