...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
