But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
