it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
