I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
