My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
