plz talk dirty to me
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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