I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
