how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
