One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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