things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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