the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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