Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
