idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
