She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
