so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
