So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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