Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
