rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
