My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
