youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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