I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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