just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
