Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
My liver is preforming stress tests.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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