I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
