I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
