Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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