Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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