idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
