Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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