Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
