whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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