Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
