Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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