this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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