The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
