Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
