i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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