we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Randomize
