yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
