I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
