He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
