i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
