I think my vagina is haunted
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
