NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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