I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
