I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
