maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
