it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
