I love black thongs
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
