we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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