Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
